I-HAVE-ARRIVED-SYNDROME - WHAT A CURSE

I-HAVE-ARRIVED-SYNDROME - WHAT A CURSE

I coined a phrase sometime ago, ‘I-have-arrived-syndrome’ (or at least I think I did); tragically, this has and will continue to shortchange this beautiful country of ours beaming such exuberant talent. This is a country that produced Brenda Fassie, Benni McCarthy, Ernie Els, Nelson Mandela, Charlize Theron to name but a few, and exciting talent such as the sensational Zahara continue to emerge from our shores.

But we are a country very low on self esteem, we think we are superior to other African countries yet we don’t put our money where our mouth is, music by our artists never tops international charts, our top national soccer team players subject themselves to the humiliation of trials in lower divisions abroad, our actors are nowhere near top Hollywood productions. It’s time to face the facts – we are no where near as good as we delude ourselves into thinking we are, or, we are very good but we are a country suffering from chronic complacency, like a flower that withers before it completely blooms, the full extent of our God-given talent is hardly ever realized because we get excited too soon and think we’ve made it at the first sight of the success glow.

Our soccer players think playing for Chiefs or Pirates is the pinnacle of success, our actors think a Generations contract is the ultimate. Tragic how low we’ve set the bar really. Our kwaito and hip hop stars fumble a chaotic unrehearsed performance during live performances and wonder why they are not given respect, no I’m not talking about groupies lining up to take off their panties, that’s not the respect I’m talking about. I’m talking about a breathtaking Lebo Mathosa live performance that makes you proud to be South African. But we tolerate mediocrity in South Africa, and the painful kind of mediocrity is that dished out by people who could do way better.

This arrogance that we have as South African is really baseless until we conquer the globe. Nigerians are arrogant and they can back it up, ever seen a Nigerian gardener in our suburbs? Never! A typical South African gets a gig at a regional radio station and starts believing they are the best thing since PVR. You get one supporting role in a drama series and the next thing you create a fanpage and forget to continue working hard on your craft, that’s low self esteem, never in your wildest dreams did you ever imagine you’ll ever be called a ‘star’ and when you never really dreamt about being a solid star with staying power. C’mon guys, catch a wake up! Maybe that’s what we get for creating ‘stars’ out of continuity announcers. We just don’t have a mentality of champions as a country, for Pete’s sake even a lousy domestic worker has a big head around here, what’s up with that nonsense! A domestic worker who is as easy to replace as a light-bulb walks around with a chip on her shoulder around here! This is empty arrogance gone bonkers, I tell ya!

University graduates who can’t spell even if their lives depended on it yet wonder why promotion is hard to come by.

Upstart tenderpreneurs who go on flashy cars shopping sprees way before they finish their first project! At this rate we are busy building a nation of wankers jumping from one fickle dream to another.

I hope Zahara achieves the greatness her first album promises; I hope we have a South African play for Barcelona or Real Madrid soon; I hope we create more genuine international stars; I hope we continue dreaming bigger even behind the steering wheel of a 320i BMW. I hope we rid ourselves of this ‘I-Have-Arrived’ syndrome and learn just how far humility can take one.

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YOU ARE OVER 30 AND STILL SINGLE...LOOK IN THE MIRROR

After reading this, my girl friends on the ‘wrong’ wide of 30 might not want to ever talk to me again, but then again they might just love me more. Let’s see…

So you are still unhappily single? Twenty boyfriends later since 16 when you started dating (I’m not counting the flings and the one-night stands), your heart might have an uncanny ability to pick up asshole signals, maybe you’ve been very unlucky in meeting guys who were still playing the field; you see, some guys are just not ready to receive an awesome woman. Here is the type of those guys:

·         A guy who’s just bought his first car – all the years of forced double-dates just coz he needed a lift.

·         A guy who’s just hit the big time – if he’d struggled with women attention in the past, chances are he’s a bit bitter towards women for all paying him attention only now that he has buying power or in the spotlight, so he goes on a rampage making up for lost time when he was just a nerd women found boring.

·         Some guys, as charming as they are, are also irredeemably arrogant, he’d always think there must be someone out there more ‘worthy’ of him than you. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be enough.

The problem is, some sisters love thinking they are Chuck Norris, ‘I’m gonna tame him’, they assume confidently. Fact is, when he ain’t mentally ready, even Oprah wouldn’t be enough. So stop wasting your time and move the fcuk on. You are over 30 for crying out loud yet you are still making mistakes you should have made at 18!

And please try and be R.E.A.L.I.S.T.I.C.

One thing guys much better than women is that – niggas are realistic. That’s why you see a supposedly hot guy settling down with a supposedly average-looking woman, he looked at the heart and the mind more than anywhere else and concluded she’s sensible enough to go home to everyday and raise children with.

Women, on the other hand, nc nc nc, not all of you will get DJ S’bu or Robert Marawa, you’ll also have to look at Popeye and Spinach and the likes. And whomever you target, always remember that once you get closer to them there’s always gonna be something smelly, maybe he’d have a really small ‘member’, maybe he has children from previous relationships, maybe he thinks he’s so hot you should lick his shoes, maybe he has a chronic illness etc. You’ll never find any man without flaws. Ever.  At 33 you should know that by now.

And it’s not like in the movies, there’ll be days when romance is really low in intensity. You’ll have to put up with ghetto or rural family members, you’ll tolerate soccer matches on TV when you’d rather be watching ‘Why Did I Get Married Too?’ for the hundredth time! Yeah, the fairytale is not forever. Get over yourself.

You are also far from being perfect too hey, at 33 you have a lot of buggage and I’m not even talking about children, you’ve had guys sweep you off your feet and leave you, you’ve been hurt, you’ve been rejected, some of your exes are married, part of your heart is ‘irreparably’ damaged, your mileage is high, stuff in your body is sagging etc. so there is quite a lot to contend and deal with as far as you are concerned, you are heading for the big FOUR ZERO, so relax a bit.  

Remember, we are all just ordinary people. And of course, the clock is ticking.

Love and let love.

Follow @EdKingRocks on Twitter